Full Circle - more self exploration...

Full Circle by Sally Hepler

Sometimes life is just like this we go in circles and sometimes we go in cycles, like seasons...

I tend to have cycles and the number 7 sounds familiar and important to me.

I was 7 months when I was given away (turns out it might have been 14 but that is still 2x7).

Possibly the hardest time in my life was after the age 14 to 21 where all big things happened and life took me to an edge but as well it was when I found my inner strength, my faith and I realised I was and I am a survivor.

Age 21 I moved country, ran away and my self-discovery started even though for years I was lost without knowing any better.

Around age 28 Spirituality started making sense and my sense of self was growing. I believed and trusted in reasons for things, I become part of a development group and I did my Healing training with the NHFS, I turned my life around moving to a new area and started things again... and then I became a mum! 😀💕

Then after 35, I thought it was time for me to do something new, and I started studying and became a qualified counsellor, met my soul twin and have matured and haven't stopped doing self-reflection and getting to know the real me, with this - acceptance have been one of the big parts of this journey.

42 become a continuity of this but my healing gift started taking more of a part in my life and I started running a small healing/mediation group that in fact it is a development group but I never called it that. We just a few and we meet once a month but I value immensely the energy and I feel blessed as well as overwhelmed sometimes with the quality and intensity of it. Thank you, Universe!

Now, 44 we are coming to the 'full circle'! Be careful what you ask! Yes as a teenager I asked to be able to help people, to make a difference.  Possibly my own need to be special and seen as special, my need to be recognized. Something I was not getting! I needed to know and trust that there was a purpose, a purpose for the pain, the emptiness, and the rejection. Otherwise why baring it? What for? Who for?

As a young adult, I started being told by psychics: 'you could be doing what I do', 'you have a gift' but I never really believed it - plus what they did never really attracted me. What I wanted to do with my life was always one of my big mysteries, as was what I wanted from it. Easy to say what I didn't want but never what I wanted. I did so many jobs and tried so many things...

For over a year I have been feeling that I need to do something with all that I can do. I have been volunteering for so many years as a counsellor, and that is great as it has been an amazing experience to be able to help people find themselves and understand who they are. Going on journeys with them is simply great but I wish I could use my healing with it. I just used it with people I know or who ask about it and I feel its time to use it more.

You see that is why I call it full circle - because really what I was given, by asking to be able to touch people, is who I am. And the gift of healing that can come out in many forms, which may be hands-on, absent healing, intention, my listening skills, my empathy or my unconditional love. But a part of me has been running from some of it, especially after my NFSH courses and an overwhelming experience I had giving healing to someone.

Accepting that I might have a gift of healing and able to channel energy that might be able to help someone, which might be physically or at other levels, has been quite hard to embrace. The responsibility was too big to handle. There are always many layers to any issues, and for me, the excuses were that I was young, that people would not take me seriously, that I couldn't charge because it is a gift, etc. But now when I look back I can see that the main issue was and is to accept the 'good' in me - my shadow. (See my other post on the shadow in this blog).

So instead I took time off :) and went to do a few important things... some karmic relationships, some more self-discovery, a daughter! And then I thought that I still really want to do something that will 'touch' people so I found Counseling and - because I studied for it - I felt I could be paid for it.

Now I feel I am back there, where I was - just not so young (no more excuses), and taking myself more seriously and believing more in me. So that should make people see me in a different way for all comes from within 😊 I am ready! Or so I say and want to believe but still a scary cat and an avoider! The difference is that I know I cannot run, and so I am putting myself out there more and paying more attention and hoping doors will open...

Writing this is for my benefit - it is like therapy to me, I am shouting loud so I can hear myself!