Dear Daughter, I am sorry

Dear Daughter, 

I am so sorry for the world I have contributed to creating for you!

Nothing I will ever say will be enough to express the shame and guilt I feel. 

I did not see all this coming, I did not expect this for you... 
When I had you, there was hope and optimism in the future. 

Yes, there were things needing to be improved, but not on the scale there is now.

And I believed they were going to be addressed and improved.

The pollution, the climate change, the capitalism, the consumerism, the lack of recycling, the waste, the damaging of the planet forests and animals, the overeating, the lack of care of the animals we eat, the additives in our food, the lack of support for the poor, the education, the health care, and mental care, the racism, the inequality, the women rights and protection, the abuse of power, and so much more...

Yes, we had all this then! But I believed it was going to get better, not worse! 

But 20 years later, all is so much worse and we reached a breaking point I did not expect to see in my lifetime.

I apologize for my naivety, I am sorry I believed in human intelligence and common sense. 

I am here for you, but I feel lost in what actions can I take to really make a difference for you and your future. And because of that, I feel embarrassed looking at you, yes I do! 

Feeling this powerless for a mother is the worse feeling. We are lovers and carers, and protectors. We want you all to grow up safe, healthy, and be happy. I trust you will find a way, but the burden on you is so unfair! You and your generation,  have already had to grow up so fast, and become adults and now you been given this immense task of finding solutions to save this planet, to bring solutions to the problems the generations before you left... all out of their own greed, and/or trust in leaders, governments, institutions, religions that were never on our side but only just considering their position of power and growth. 

I have hope and trust in your abilities, courage, and intelligence. I just want you to know this.

All my love with an immense retreat in getting you in this position.

Hope you can find in your heart the ability to forgive

Mum x

Trump - looking back at my views on 9 March 2016

 Is Donald Trump becoming the living shadow side of America? Or even the world? 

I am not following too much of this madness of the American presidential election, but unless I would have moved to another planet it is impossible to avoid it. 

What is striking me is his popularity and how it is becoming more and more possible that America will have him as a President very soon, and the world will have to face having relationships with such a man. 

Why so popular? I have reflected and I realize he is saying what many people want to say! 

But has become unpopular, unethical, racist, wrong, etc... But just because we don't say it, doesn't mean we don't think it! It doesn't mean we don't feel it! Finally, someone is giving permission to all to say it! No matter how uneducated, racist or wrong it sounds! 

Again here is the example of the society we live in, where we get to be told to be good, follow orders, rules, be nice, polite, embrace all as one! Be kind and loving. Be light, be the light to the world. But what is the cost? The cost is that we are not talking about our darkness, our dark secrets, desires, how cruel and evil we are, how racist we all are! 

We have been made to feel disgusted by 'difference'! By things out of place or out of ordinary! We live in a duality world, there is me and then there is you! Ok, this might not be the reality, the real deep one but is the reality to the human eye! In a 3d world!

So yes we might have to live through looking at Trump as a mirror of our own stuff, the one we don't own, the one we don't like and feel ashamed and embarrassed about! So maybe Trump is here to serve us all! Maybe there will be more wars and abuse of power, but then how much can we all take until we wake up!? Maybe he is a good thing, he is the last pull this elastic, the society we live in needs to break! It will hurt a lot of us for sure but also it will wake up a lot of us!

America didn't see what they had, they didn't value it enough, but soon they will see what they lost by being confronted by the reality of what we left with when the sun goes away... Darkness!