Powerlessness in the mist of having no control - A reflection on 2020

Not having control takes me into my inner child and back to what childhood represents for me within my story.

So one can say I grew up having to live with it and learning to cope or better endure it. One would also expect to become used to this feeling, of not having a choice or knowing what to expect next. In many ways I have. I have grown to become quite controlling in my own life, very able, self capable, independent, etc. And above all, I had to find something to give that control to and have trust in it. When you feel you not in control or can control as the little child or the adult human, there is only one way. And that way is to trust that someone/something has that control, is in control! And we have to also learn to trust that all that ever happens is simply another piece of the puzzle (life) we have no full view of. The big truth is we never that in control, ever! We just think we are! We might have a bit of control on very closed things to us, but not much else...

2020 has been one the most challenging years for the human race because exactly that: All that was certain to us was taken away. The illusion of control was lost! The truth reality came alight and it is scary! Nothing is certain! Nothing is forever, permanent, constant or reliable. And life is extremely fragile!

In 2019 I heard many talking about 2020 being the year of 20 x 20 vision! They were not wrong! It has been indeed the year where veils have fallen down, the true colours of our leaders have been shown! Never fake-news became so relevant to the reality of the life we live, so desperately sticking blame. We saw the impact of the pollution on cities being lifted in the lockdowns, the animals moving more freely. We got angry over the unfair treatment of a fellow human, just because of his race and we reflected and got better informed over the big picture behind it all... We concluded we can indeed work from home successfully, and bosses wondered of the need for all the expensive offices... New ways got to be found with adapting doing so many things. Shop owners got creative, business got creative. People came together, communities came together. Some governments with good leaders shone as some others failed... People got united and then got tired and frustrated... We got to see the real mess! We got to consider what is really important in our lives. The heath, the family, the friends, the support networks we need to have. We got to value so many simple things taken for granted before. Local small business got more support, etc...

This year has given us all, mostly a chance to reconsider our lives, careers, passions and what truly matters. The excuse of not having time was discarded, no longer able to be applied. The inverse came to be normal, as we all isolated at home for months...  We had time to reflect, rethink, reconsider, organise, clear, clean, create... We also got time to be caught out in the mess of fake news and fake creation, opinions and misinformation that has created more issues than solutions. That is ironic, as all they claim to be is the truth! The way to open your eyes, be awaken, stand for our unique selves and autonomy and against been manipulated, controlled and followers of a system. 

Interestingly 2020 adds to a 4 and here I am adding a couple of meanings easily found online: 

"In Numerology number 4 is a conscientious number with a focus on long-term security. In Numerology number 4 is a number of focus - a focus on building a secure foundation for the future. (...) It can be a lot of work. 4 is adequately equipped for the work with its ability to focus on the details of the steps required to reach specific goals." https://affinitynumerology.com/number-meanings/number-4-meaning.php#maincontentcontinue

"First, we have to say that 4 is the number of justice and stability that you need to keep in your life. This number also resonates with loyalty, patience, wisdom and trust... number 4 may also symbolize your aspirations and passions that you have. Number 4 can be a symbol of honesty and loyalty as well." https://angelnumber.org/what-does-the-number-4-mean-in-the-bible/

Tarot card 4 - The Emperor sits on a ram adorned throne, a symbol of Mars. He holds an ankh sceptre in his right hand, and a globe, symbol of domination, in his left. The Emperor sits atop a stark, barren mountain, a sign "sterility of regulation, and unyielding power".

Meaning: this card is suggestive od stability and secure life. You are on top of things and everything is under your control. It is your hard work, discipline and self-control that have bought you this far. It means that you are in charge of your life now setting up your own rules and boundaries. 

Upright card - keywords: Authority, Father figure, law and order, leadership, power, promotion.

Reverse card - keywords: Control freak, Immaturity, Lack of discipline, Loss of authority, Manipulative friends

Don't you think is interesting that we indeed have experienced all these themes?

'a focus on building a secure foundation for the future' Never a year has given us so much time and opportunities to see all the cracks and neglects of our society! 2020 might not be a year of solutions but is definitely the year of questions and reconsideration. We indeed need to start building a secure foundation for our future! This year is a bit like the tower in the tarot, the collapse of beliefs, structures, etc.

 '4 is the number of justice and stability that you need to keep in your life. This number also resonates with loyalty, patience, wisdom and trust... number 4 may also symbolize your aspirations and passions that you have. Number 4 can be a symbol of honesty and loyalty as well' I love this! Fighting for justice and stability! Yes, we are no way near a society with this as priority! All the rest also makes sense, the need for loyalty that has been missed, patience, wisdom and trust that has been missing being inspired by our governments. Aspirations and passions that we need to reconnect, reinvent or create will be essential!

Now we can also look at the tarot card of the Emperor and also see so much resonating but even more for some of us, what we been experiencing is the not the Emperor in its full glory but his shadow self, the hidden side of power:  ' Control freak, Immaturity, Lack of discipline, Loss of authority, Manipulative friends'  Doesn't this resonate with the reality so many of us are living with our governments and the importance of real directions to follow, instead of misleading advise and confused headlines, plus all the truths going on behind closed doors... with favouritism; misleading; lying; incompetence, etc

Fascinating I would say! 

But now let's go back to Control! And the title of this blog... When one doesn't feel in control, one feels powerless! A big reminder of this is when one is faced with death for example. And this year I have lost a few... when one gets ill and is not in your hands being able to help or cure is as extremely difficult experience to handle. When someone is unwell mentally and there is not enough support in society is devastating... When we lost jobs for no fault of our own; when there is no money for the next bill or meal that is seriously scary! But I beg you to accept not having control, but not feeling powerless! Here is where trust and faith come in! No, don't sit on the sofa feeling sorry for yourself and depressed!! Go and ask for help! No human is that alone! We are not a desert islands in the middle of a big ocean, there is always someone! Something possible! We have to try finding help, a solution. And then we have to trust a solution will appear and most times it will. Ask! Look...

Faith is the biggest holder when we not in control! Faith that something bigger then us that is also part of us is there to support us. That it is powerful and so all is possible, we are part of it so we are also powerful!

Trust that all this is a unique opportunity for humanity to heal and change, and remember it starts with you! Your healing, your change. You and me taking responsibility and working on ourselves, our values, our dreams, aspirations. You and I can make a difference and if we get enough of us doing the same. Be the example, don't wait for change but instead be the change. 

Oh yes if there wasn't enough 4's already here, apparently, on the 10th January, we had a full moon eclipse in Cancer and today a full moon again in Cancer - Full circle! Cancer that is a number 4  as it rules the 4th house in Astrology., and had the moon as its ruling planet. A zodiac that stands for home and family ... (you can find more on Cancer here: https://www.allure.com/story/cancer-zodiac-sign-personality-traits

To a great 2021!  That, by the way, is a 5... "... in the Mayas number 5 has been considered the symbol of perfection. Also, it is believed that number 5 is a symbol of grace, that is associated with the human body: we have 2 legs, 2 arms and 1 head... " https://angelnumbersmeaning.com/angel-number-5-meaning-and-symbolism/

In the Tarot card 5, it is the Pope: " The Hierophant is seen seated on a throne between two pillars symbolising law and liberty or obedience and disobedience. He wears a triple crown, and the keys to Heaven are at his feet. 

Meaning: Hierophant stands for tradition and convention. It can represent marriage in an arranged setup. It can also mean a teacher or counsellor who will help in learning/education of the querent.

Upright card (keywords): Education, learning, marriage, religion, seeking counsel or advise, spiritual guidance, tradition.

Reverse card (keywords): Abuse of position, breakdown, poor counsel, rejection of family values.

Definitely some food for thought into this new year, and what to expect... Remember you also have the power to create
your own reality based on where your attention lies!

Thank you for reading! Let's make 2021 an interesting, more positive, loving and united year for all of us.

Restarting Blogging 21-12-2020

Hi to you all, 

I have now revised and given some TLC to all my posts here and I am in the mood of being back!

2020 has been a year where more then once I thought I should be saying things, I should be sharing some of my knowledge, understanding and skills/tools of navigating life difficulties. But instead, I was feeling like not wanting to talk at all. Twice I did a video on my Facebook page but I didn't felt motivated to do more. But something has shifted in the last few weeks, time to reinvent! 

I renamed an old group into - Mentoring with Maria - and attached it to my page. Time to indeed share! And then I came here and decided to also restart this blog. At the same time, I am also relaunching my book - The Seven Lies of the Human Race. I really feel and believe there are so much information and tools so relevant to these present times and with so much information to the self-understanding one needs to heal and improve our lives, so we can indeed be part of this new beginning, era transitions and difficult times, reinventing new suitable ways to live our future lives healing this planet and having a much lower negative impact on it. Time to take responsibility for our ways! For this, we need self-understanding! 

So I am excited here!! 

Today is the 21-12-2020 a 10 = 1 New beginnings! We are all aware there is this two amazing planets coming together this evening in Aquarius and how this will influence all of us! How this indeed will be shifting things and support the changes needed for the future we need to create.

But please, stop taking this as an overnight change! No light winning, no big Aquarius era! Yes, we are in transit into it, no doubt! But we not yet officially there, we need to wait for... "Bottom line: The Age of Aquarius begins when in March equinox point moves out of the constellation Pisces and into the constellation Aquarius. But there's no definite answer as to when that will be" by https://earthsky.org/human-world/when-will-the-age-of-aquarius-begin

Let's be realistic and not think this is the magic saver of the 'new era of Aquarius!' that we (within the spiritual aware), been waiting just like any other religion we have issues with has been wait for their saver!

That we are in its transition (for some time) - yes - but not yet in it!!

Let's stop projecting messiahs coming back to save us or the birth of new one tonight!! Or that this is a start of some blissful era! There will be no bliss until we and only we stop fighting within ourselves, looking for rescuers, and someone or something to blame and playing victims!! Until we know ourselves enough, have the awareness behind our behaviours, thoughts, choices, denials, transferences, projections we can not be at peace or create the peaceful, loving world we so desire.

No one and no cosmic event can bring peace on earth and fix the mess we have created and have allowed being created! Not even God, the Divine, any Angel or Saint or any Alien on the many galaxies out there.

Let’s grow up!! And stop blaming our parents, our societies and our leaders (that we don’t really have) for how messed up we all are!

Yes, they are at fault! Most of us didn’t have a good enough parenting and society and politics have become the worse example of what parenting should be… but we need to also see beyond it, they were the product of their own parents, society beliefs. Is our responsibility now, as awaken and aware human beings to stop passing that trauma, repeating their own mistakes or worse just live in extreme opposition to it all. Extremes are not the answer they both as damaging!

“While Jupiter signifies generosity and fortunate opportunities, it can also lead to egoic greed and delusions of grandeur that requires the contemplative focus of Saturn to trim the excess and strengthen what is ready to ripen. At the same time, we need the inspirational revitalization of Jupiter to mediate the negative side of Saturn that can bring fear over limitations and obstacles and lead to depressive stagnation.” https://www.astrology.com/article/great-conjunction-saturn-conjunct-jupiter-in-aquarius-2020

“Vitally, not only will Jupiter and Saturn be uniting in Aquarius, they will also be forming a catalytic square aspect with Uranus in Taurus. At this pivotal moment in our journey, the lightning bolts of Jupiter and Uranus will not only bring down old societal structures but will also impel us to release old personal dreams and drama we have been attached to. There will be new challenges and unknown potential arising as we begin a new era of Jupiter and Saturn that we will need to make space for in our lives. During 2020 ask yourself what you need to leave behind and what you truly desire to carry forward.”

https://www.astrology.com/article/great-conjunction-saturn-conjunct-jupiter-in-aquarius-2020

Thank you for reading