The poem... 23-2-13

23-2-13 this was the date I did a psychic practice Workshop where I did this poem and I was told about a new guide of mine, a philosopher and that my guides had different ideas for what I was supposed to be doing. That writing or teaching could be a possibility. Three days after I was planing the contents of my book and the name was so obvious: The seven lies of the Human race. 

The lying parent. 21-2-13

If I told you we are a bunch of liars living in a world where we teach laying to our children from day one? How would you feel? I know is not one to easily swallow but a true never the less. Ok, I better explain myself or I can see you leaving this Blog right now :) 

We lie to ourselves, we lie to each other, when we say we are ok and we are not, we are lying when we pretend whatever that it is so we fit in or to be liked or whatever- we lying! When we say sorry and we don't really mean it; when we say I love you and we don't really mean it; when we pretend we getting along with something but we not... We are lying. You see we live a life of constant lying. This is big and this is serious. We feel we can not be ourselves, we feel we are not good or worth enough, so we pretend and we lie. Lie about the salary, the car, the family, the job, the friends, the upbringing, the looks, the everything that might be possible to pretend and lie about. The list is endless.

We have learned this from our parents and we pass this one to our children. When for example things were not well between mum and dad, and we got worried. But we were possibly told: "No is ok, mum is ok." When obviously it wasn't. We all forget that the child can feel it is something wrong, but if it is told it is alright, she will think she is wrong. This child can then grow up not to trust their feelings because they were 'wrong' when in fact they were right. Instead, this child should have heard the truth, simply: "yes mum and dad is not ok, but we are trying to work it out as adults, this is not for you to worry and this is not about you. We both love you very much. Now go to bed, or go to play..."

Now we have another big issue with boundaries, children are told 'no' but they have learned that if they become very, very persistent they can eventually get it. So no wonder a teenager, young adult or a man when he hears the girl say no, thinks if I persist, really persist I know I will get it because no doesn't really means no, does it? Again what are we passing on? 

Boundaries and discipline are very important in the upbringing of children, of heathy secure children. Children without it get, agitated, unrested, demanding and unhappy. Children need to know where to stop, where are the limitations and they need an adult who is loving but firm. A parent should never think that is the child mate or best friend, for that, is not what the child needs, that might be what the parents needs, but that is something that the parent will have to address and get help with. A lot of parents and mums became mums/parents because of their own need of love, unconditional love, and they feel a baby, a child can give that to them. Now imagine the responsibility that this child comes in the world with. 

You might be thinking, who you to be saying all this, are you even a parent? In fact, I am and no I am not perfect, for that is not what the child needs either. Do I have a degree in children Psychology or in raising children? No, I don't! I have become a mum with no experience, but I follow my instinct, my common sense, I did it all from a place of Love and practicality but as well with determination and boundaries. For me a no, always meant a no. But sometimes there were maybes and if's and we can sometimes negotiate and compromise with some older children. Becoming a parent made me aware of myself, my limitations, my issues and helped me explore and learn lots.

Children need to be told as it is in a form that is appropriated for them, they might not need all the truth or all the story but they should not be lied to or pretended that something is what is not. I child should not be used as companions, friends, listeners, confidant, carers or assume parenting roles and they should not have at all to take sides in parents or families confrontations. 

Mostly, children need real people as parents, adults that are loving and have time for them. That gives them attention and quality time. That they set boundaries and expectation. Rules and that they are truthful at all times. An adult needs to stay an adult but be able to be in touch with their inner child to get on with playful times, to be empathic to the child needs. At the same time as the adult, he should be able to admit errors and have talks with their children. We came from a generation of parents who never admit being wrong or any wrongdoing, let now find a balance but not go to the extreme of apologising for being you and not giving any more of yourself. 

You and I can only do our best, with great achievements and some failure, that is normal and is being human. At the end of the day, none of this can guarantee children with no problems or traumas, for even the ones who have it all will always feel they miss on something. Because it Is not about the reality but about the perceptions and interpretation of the child, of the other and that is our children unique choice and individuals lessons. We can only be sincere and real to ourselves and others and became more and more aware of ourselves.     

Awareness, self-awareness for me is the biggest key in my own experience. I become a therapist for that reason and I can imagine my child, now in her teens complaining about having a mother as a therapist who is aware of what is behind so much... It all started when she was a toddler and I become aware I was losing my temper and becoming my own carer... The biggest fright when you look at the mirror and see your not nice mother! 

So I sought help, I knew this was not right and not about her, this took me deeper into my self-understanding and my journey into training as a therapist, something I was already interested. Today these skills help me immensely, my child is doing ok but not all is perfect. Never is, and we not aiming at perfection for that does not exist. She has anxieties and issues and I have to be aware of how to deal with it. How to give and support but still say no. 

I too know how easy is to say yes, and give in! I know I agree with so much more and give so much more because I did not have it. But we need to create limits and become aware that whatever way we act and interact with them that is all they have as an example to take for their future life. If we give and give easily they will think that the world and life are like that. They will have even more expectations and that is something we all struggling in this society because of that. Children need to be taught to value things and have respect. I am a believer in respect. Respect for people, animal, nature and things. Yes things, deserve respect too. No clothes on the floor, or uncared for. All things need and deserve to be cared for at all times. Only like this can we bring up kids that have respect for this planet, for each other, for the parents and the elderly.

In a society of consumerism and image we the parents have a hard job and the most important job in giving this future generation the skill of self-love, self-worth, self-acceptance, respect, empathy, and that can only come from example. Us practising exactly that, us getting help, physiologic help. I believe we parents should be more supported by this society. Have more help with the tools to be better at what we do. For starters, we need therapy available, courses on self-awareness, on self-esteem, on common
sense! 

Thanks for reading. 

21-2-13

Meditation for the Heart 13-2-13

After my first event on Facebook being a success "sending healing to 2013" I thought I wanted to do more of this. It came very obviously that doing something in February made sense and the thought of doing something to attract love even better. An idea was born! 

Now as always we have to find the details... And so it was that I thought of creating a mediation. I like them and I know I can be quite good, being running my monthly group for 3 years now, that is over 30 unique ones 😀 Yes at first I created every single one each month to do with chakras or the subject I was covering and then I started letting myself just be guided and let it flow... Everyone enjoys it and finds it very relaxing, plus I use that time to give the healing in my group so it made sense to do the same here.  

Then it came to me to do a YouTube video 😀 and so it was I end up with this lovely video. For a couple days I attempted to write the mediation, but it was not coming through. I know from experience that the best in this cases is to let it go and so I did and when I tried again it came though in one go... No mending, no changing. I simply love it, the way it works. When I looked and read it, I thought: wow that is the right words. That is the right thing to say... Next, I had to record it and find the music! The music took me forever to find... but finally did it and I am very happy with it. 

Now the next thing was new for me... Recording my voice and listening to it... First time I did that, recording a client session for college I got the shock of my life! Do I really sound like this?! I hate it! Now I am more loving and accepting of myself then I was then, so I can't say I love it but I am ok and I am more use to the idea that voice is really me. Apparently is very comom finding our own voice alien.  

I did it once but I could hear the bell of my cat and it disturbed me, so I did it again next morning with no cat bell and all by myself. I was happy with it now. 

I looked for photos the next day and my partner helped me create the video and get everything together. I have to say it was fun using 'garage band' on a Mac and 'I-video' but it took much longer then I could have imagined, but then again I had no idea... 

I think it was worth it and now I am planning to do more of this. I am planning to do a series on healing the chakras and then I want to try to do a few in subjects to do with counselling. Things like: mediation for depression, anxiety, panic, stress, self-esteem... Gosh, this could be so cool! I am having time at the moment as I am unfortunately almost jobless... And starting my private practice very slowly... So might as well spend the time doing something useful to all 😊 

To many more!

Please listen to it, do it and share it! Plus if spirit draws you to donate a £1 every penny counts and is a nice way of doing some exchange of energy and the service I am offering here. 

Love and light to you all. xxx

13-2-13

  

Where has a year go?

Where has a year go since my last post?

It has past, but I am trying to get back! 

I haven't stopped writing, or no very much the opposite I wrote a book and published it, and wrote some posts for here, but working on an iPad has its limitations and frustrations and the lack of access to a laptop or computer to make my posts look like I wish as kept me from publishing them. 

I know it is sad, but it is true and the reality is nothing has really changed but I am determined to make an effort to change! 

So this is me saying hello! 

This will be the first of some posts I will be posting with their original dates from last year, hope you enjoy it and come back! 

Love and light xxx