Have I been missed? Written on the 7th October 2013

Hi all! 

You all must be wondering where I have been since February, as I have vanished from my a blog! 

OK, the secret is out! I have been writing a book! All my time and inspiration has been taken up by it. I finished writing it in July with just the conclusion to do, and then August and September were spent reading it through, having it edited, etc.  

So I am officially an Author! My book was been launched on Lulu.com on the 25-09-13. 

I am excited and I have a big hope that this book will touch many people. 

At the moment I am living the anxious times of waiting for people to read it and buy it and get back to me with comments, feedback and stories of their enlightening moments. I am sure there will be many. When someone, as they are reading will says: "yes! That is me!" Or "Yes now I understand it" or "... I didn't realise that until now..."   

"So what is this book?" I hear you saying... This book is called "The Seven Lies of The Human Race". It is a book written in a simple, structured way all about lies! 

As a therapist, and with my own story to rely on, I came to realise a big truth that so many of us are aware of: we act on our beliefs. But what if these beliefs were based on lies? 

Also, I realised that, because we are all unique, we experience the same reality in different ways. So when exposed to a lie an individual has two choices: either believe in it and give in or react to it and act the opposite way. 

Also as a healer, I am aware of the energy centres: what they stand for, and how they influence not just our physical but our emotional and spiritual selves. 

With all this in mind, I set myself to relate these two passions of mine: energy as a healer and psychology as a therapist. To bring them together in a unique way which I believe no one else has done before. 

I have identified the lies that we learn through life. I talk about how we learn them and experience them as babies, and as we grow up. These Lies that get to be internalised so deeply we might not even be aware that they are there - or that we believe them! I have related them to each energy centre in our body.

The book also identifies what we do when we are exposed to these lies and in what way we react to them. I identify typical archetypes for each lie. 

Throughout the book, I use my story as an example, as well as bringing stories that are fiction but are based on people and facts I know.

I hope the book can be a tool of self-discovery and self-understanding. Above all I want it to be a tool for healing and to show we can set ourselves free from the lies that we been told by parents, carers and society. 

The book concludes with a view of what we need to find balance, love and peace. I wish you all a fulfilled journey.   xxx

The troubles of Britishness in all of us...

For many, many years the English culture and way of thinking and behaviour has attracted me and puzzled me immensely.
The use of language with kids, (good, bad boy!), the desperation for 'thank yous' and 'sorry', the shyness and over-politeness... The fear of speaking your mind, of asking for what you want just in case you upset someone or because is not polite.

This has been build into a generation of men and women too scared of being themselves. Too sensitive to understand what is going on inside and too polite to say anything is wrong! 

"Hello, how do you do?" "Very well, thank you" It was the first English phrase I learned. That says it all! No one is really interested in knowing how you really feel, and you know it! So you answer a pre-made answer, that is polite but not necessarily true.

Growing up, where kids existed as long as they were not heard, this generation (30ish to 60ish) learned to be invisible, to be behind someone else who speaks for them, who makes decisions for them. They learnt not to trust themselves most of the time because everything they ever did was never good enough...

We live in a society where taking responsibility is not cool. Where people say sorry and expect that all will be ok... Where you take money from others and say sorry and all is forgiven, without proper consequences or this person taking serious responsibility for what they have done.
People kill, use, abuse and say sorry... Some do not even do that... And we are just waiting to be told that is ok, that all will be ok... And we believe it! Because we need to! We need to believe someone else is fixing it for us! Just like a child does, we hope and expect a parent to do so. We are nothing more than kids, with a child's mind, who has not grown up and are living in an adult body. And you know why? Because most of us were never allowed to be real kids: held and respected; loved, cared and heard. So now we are projecting this inner expectation and we are playing up our frustrations with our society, with our system where we are now feeling entitled to receive and be protected, and beheld and be cared for.

I am not wanting to criticise or to show that any other culture is any better, but I am here wanting to wake something up! To shaken our thought and actions. I want this to make you question, to ask yourself if you are happy? If this is really what you are and are you happy with it? If so, good for you! If not, then let's ask questions, let's find answers, let's reach conclusions and solutions. That is what this world needs! We are all fed up of being told what to do, how to act and having to tick a box or fit in a group. We have been fighting for equal rights but we have now confused that with being the same. We are not the same! We are individuals! We have equal rights but we are individuals! And in the society we create we are now invisible and simply one of the many equals that need to fit in some group, may that be colour, race, religion, upbringing, culture, age...

We are told we are equal but we are feeling more and more apart and isolated than ever. If you don't fit in, you are not in! Not in the school, the group of friends, the new mums group, the yoga class... Not in the cafe or the pub you go to. People are losing their individuality, simply following trends, media feeds, and other ways of thinking or acting. We are not making individual choices. We are choosing what everyone is, so we fit in, so we don't look strange. We are not disagreeing so we don't upset: so we don't stand out. So we are not individuals. We are now a bunch of followers who don't even know any longer who or what we are. Who is losing our voice and our capacity of questioning, of wondering about things?

This is for me pure sadness! The disgrace of a generation, in fact, more than a generation. We are passing this on to our children. What is this society going to be in 10, 30 years time? I don't know. Do you?

We are not taking responsibility, for ourselves mainly - and for the 'all'. For we are part of a big group. Look at our planet! We are destroying it but no one is taking responsibility. I read this today by Terri Swearingen: "We are living in this planet as if we had another one to go to." So true! And what came to my mind is not that we are having another planet to go to but that we all know we going to die so we won't be here to pick up the mess! Let's pollute the air, the oceans, the mind of the weak! Let's lie and make ourselves richer and richer and who cares!? I want, I want, I want it now! And we get it! Isn't this what babies do? And our lovely new mothers are obeying, in a society of consumerism and lack of respect for others.

First, we were made to feel invisible and our views and points of views did not count in our family. But at least most of us had the freedom to be outside being children. Now, this new generation is told they are amazing! They are so important! They can achieve anything! They are unique and wonderful and all they need to do is shout, and mum, dad, school teacher, society and all will be at their feet! But this is mostly driven out of guilt from parents who are too busy working or too absent-minded to give good enough emotional attention to these kids so we buy them things, we agree with all things, to be in peace, not to have the crying, again we are not standing up, we are making ourselves invisible and weak. At home, work and in society.

And so we are creating a new society of narcissistic mentalities and personalities. How great! These are the desensitised youngsters who can kill, abuse and feel nothing... the ones who live hours and hours having relationships with computer games... These are the people who will use us as parents and send us to an old people's home and not care! How wonderful! So looking forward to it. But who cares! I might just die before all of this becomes even worse, so I will not be here to see my grandchildren live in hell!

The hell we are all creating by not addressing the basic needs of a child! By not educating and teaching kids about feelings, about exploring thought and feelings and individuality. By not learning about empathy and respect, and self-love, and self-esteem, and valuing their individuality, not because of their colour or background but because they are valued! And parents, why not get more education for yourselves too? The future depends on parenting: on being a good enough parent. So why not give more support to this group that has the biggest and most important job in society!

They need to have a safe place to talk, explore, make sense of their own issues, feelings, anxieties. They need to feel understood and be held and respected as unique too, with their background and childhood history and troubles. This is where therapy for all should be available and easy to access and the stigma that one needs to be not coping or mentally unwell to seek help taken away. They need to have someone who can give genuine time and empathy and hold the 'all' that they are.

The previous generations could blame their lack of knowledge and understanding, but now we all know it! It is simple and clear. Attachment issues, lack of self-belief, lack of good enough mother, etc. are real and important things we all need to address in this society, so we create a better one for generations to come.

We need to stop the idea that 'sorry' fixes all! I personally never liked sorry is far too easily used and given too much power, a power that is an illusion, for sorry does not fix anything! We should not have done it in the first place, pure and simple! But we do this with all things, including ourselves and our bodies. We use them and abuse them and then one day when they start failing we hope for a magic cure, pill and miracle to fix it! But sometimes it is too late! We should have cared for it ourselves! The same with our planet and our society and our families and our children: "Sorry we messed up this world, can we start again?"  No, we can't! And we all need to take responsibility for this!

Thank you!

Between Heaven and Earth there is a connection - Us!

Photo from Crystalink.com

People always wonder about protection... More and more we hear of the ones who wish to be more intuitive and sensitive, and the ones who born like this, and find it a curse and something so hard to live with.
Lately, I have come across both, and this made me wonder and start my self-exploration to understand what this is really about.
I was born a philosopher 😀 I always question and always look for the answer within me, by questioning the realities that I come across. I wish more people were like this, in fact, I believe philosophy should be a compulsory subject at school. Kids need to start asking, wondering, finding things by themselves instead of being simply accepting facts and scientifically proven stuff that can always be changed by the next scientist.

In a time where people are becoming more and more aware of energy and its power and essence so are people getting quite overwhelmed by the intensity of this discovery.
Yes it is nice to imagine a life of awareness and perception, feeling others feelings - how cool and useful that could be. But then again, what would be like to live a life where you become aware of everyone feelings, thoughts, moods, etc? Sure quite a scary and overwhelming one to be living. But this is happening now with the so-called Emphatics.
These people live in constant energetic openness where boundaries don't exist and energy emerges as an all with no perception of what is. Some spent a lifetime trying to make sense of what is happening, some they had to isolate themselves from the world to keep themselves 'safe' of this energetic intrusions. Some they even most likely hospitalised...
Some are now a bit more in control and having some understanding so they use these gifts for the benefit of others and themselves.
It has amazed me the number of people in this situation. Not sure this is new or simply that this realisation comes from the border access to these people on the internet and in our now so common way of communication, the social media. But they here within us, and some they finding it very hard to cope with this 'gifts' they never ask for.
On the other hand, there is people who wish to be more sensitive and are doing courses and all sorts of exercises to expand their perception of the world, not realising the implications this can have and lack in knowledge about how to deal with this.

So my questions became being about what makes these people so sensitive and what are they lacking that would help them become more in control of these gifts?

I know of protection and of course lots of the exercises we been told or can learn, can be of very good use. But I wondered what else? What is really that makes someone being able to have the awareness, the gifts, the consciousness of the energy but still being able to function as a 'normal' human being?

The answer came as 'centre yourself', yes that is the answer! We need to be cantered in the heart! The real self, the place of connection with the soul.
The answer is about bringing together the energies. You see Emphatics are people with their higher chakra centres very open, developed, exposed, whatever you wish to say. The energy is going upwards. When we talk about protections we talk about grounding, imagining being inside an eggshell protecting and grounding you. So we talking about taking the energy down. Now the answer is about bringing this two together in the heart. Bringing up the grounding, the energy of Mother Earth and bringing down the spiritual energies from the divine father. Together they will emerge in our centre, the heart, the soul, the son, the child, Christ - us!
The heart is where heaven and earth meet, where healing comes from.

This I believe is the answer for being in control of the energy and the gifts we have been given. Connecting with ourselves, with the here and now, with the truth in us, the reality of being a soul in a body. The gifts are simply us being aware of what we are capable of being, of what we truly are. Connecting with our true essence - divinity - eternal.

We are all funny souls... and I am in the funny souls business...

Many times I call my clients, friends and myself 'funny souls'. And this week it has been very much in my mind. Having a possible first client coming, but I am not sure if she will or not feel this is for her. Joining a Facebook group about mental health that is full of people self-harming, very depressed, abused, and in so much despair... and my dear friend... who is deteriorating physically and mentally in front of my eyes... 

Oh yes, this world is full of funny souls! Souls in pain and in deeply indebted troubles...
And I am no exception... But being a therapist I find myself doing self-therapy very often and there is no special day or time... It just comes! Uninvited but always welcomed in the end.

I am in the business of helping funny souls find themselves and find their way, but don't think for a second I do this because I know it all or have done it all! No! I do this because I know what knowing yourself means and realise that there is always another bit to discover. And you know what? This is the beauty of life, knowing that is always more to be known, looked at, discovered and experienced.

I know from experience! I have learnt the tools and that is why my awareness gives me the possibility to work things out by myself - being my own self therapist. I do that with my clients and my friends. I want them to learn those tools, to internalise the 'good enough mother' I can play in the room. And to internalise the good enough 'me' and take it with them... When they do that, they will be ready to leave and do it all by themselves.

I find it quite amusing to hear my clients say: 'I was doing this and then I head you saying... And I knew what to do...' 'I find myself thinking: what would Maria say or do?' They have the 'me' just like I have my inner supervisor and my inner self paying attention and helping me self discover...

I love being a funny soul with imperfections, faults, laughter, and amazing love for what I do and am and I love the fact that I am in the funny souls business in a world of funny souls...


http://www.knowingyourself.co.uk/

Let's accept Mental Heath as part of our life experience

Mental Health, and the stigma attached to it, is still something that amazes, shocks and annoys me.

On the one hand, we have people who don't want to be associated with mental health problems and on the other those who have been and are now somehow almost proud that they have a label.

I find our society a structure of extremes when in fact all we need, as with everything in life, is to find the middle ground. A balance. Not the 'all' or the 'nothing'; not the 8 or the 80. We need simply to be a '40-ish' for that is cool and comfortable and healthy.

It's ok to eat the cake - just don't eat 10 of them. It's ok to have a drink - just don't overdo it...
We don't need to be perfect! We just need to be good enough - whether as a friend, a partner or a parent! In anything in life, all we really need is to find that comfortable zone, where one just 'is'. With awareness of the self and with the consciousness of our choices and actions and instincts and behaviours.

But do we see it like that? No! Does anyone tell us that? No! Simple common sense is not used any longer. We grow up beating ourselves up over our own perspective on the expectations of others. But look at this closely! Perspective. Our own perspective. That does not mean it is the reality or the truth intended.

'Reality' is not a reality at all. It is simply our view, our unique perspective, our choice of understanding what is (or was). The mind plays games, creates illusions and is - I would go so as far as calling it - a liar. Yes, the mind is most of the time a 'liar'. OK, I said it! And what do we do? We spend hours and hours, days and days, years and years paying attention to what is going on in our minds.

The memories that may already be distorted, the thoughts that don't mean anything, the illusions of things that don't exist... Every time we wonder why someone looked at us, for example, what are we doing? We creating an illusion! We don't know why they are looking at us in that way. In fact, they might not even be looking at us at all! So whatever we create in our mind is our own creation! Therefore it is a 'lie'. It's not based in any fact or reason, except possibly our interpretation of some similar experience.

Where am I going with this? I simply want to make a point here that 'Mental Health' issues are real like colds are real and cancer is real. We all have them or have had some symptoms of them. It is normal. It is not strange or wrong! And it doesn't need, always, a label either.

Ok, maybe the label can help some doctor to know the type of cold virus they are dealing with so they find the right drug for it, or the type of cancer so we get the drugs that work for it. But these labels are for a specific purpose. We, as ordinary people, don't necessarily always need them. And I think labels can create the illusion in some cases that it is outside our control to get better (of course I know this is not all, and in some cases, the diagnose is extremely helpful). "I have a tumour! I can't do anything about it! Is not my fault or choice to have it. I need an external person to help me! To operate, to give me the drug to fix it!"

But I tell you that you have a choice. You have more control over it than you even know or understand.

That is where knowing ourselves come about. We need to know who we are and what we are about to have control over our choices. As long as we don't have the knowledge, understanding and consciousness of who and how we are, we will always blame - and expect others to take control for us.

This what I offer in my practice, a safe place for you to find and get to know who you are. You need to be ready for this and really want to do it. You will need to be truthful to yourself by being truthful to me. And with me, we will walk the walk of discovery, freedom, health, peace and fulfilment.

Find me, and more about what I offer, here: www.knowingyourself.co.uk

...more on knowing yourself and mental heath...

Knowledge comes with responsibility and many of us fear that. To be responsible can mean to grow up and some of our life experiences might have taught us that growing up is scary; it might even be 'wrong'. Adults do bad things, for example.

This is why the understanding of where we come from is important. Looking and understanding that our life experience (perceptions) made us into who we are. Now, at this moment, is our chance to decide: do I want to stay as I am, and where I am? Or do I want something else? Something more? The choice is ours!

We don't need to stay the in 'poor me' or the victim position. You, me, we can always change it. Really, the only thing stopping you is you! And of course that mind of yours! The illusion that, if you failed before, you will always fail. Or that if you have been told that you are a failure by your parents, it must be true (so you are going to keep it true).

As a child, we need to make our carers 'good' because we depend on them! So to do that we internalise the 'bad'. "That must be me, I must be bad, I must deserve that, it must be my fault that it happened... "

But my dears, it is not our fault! It was not your fault! It was theirs! And their carers before them... These are passed-on traumas. It takes someone in pain to inflict pain in another. Think about it. And it takes a lack of awareness and help to carry on doing it.

You don't want to carry on like them or become like them, so you need to choose to change. To become more aware, to ask for help. To get help! To take care of yourself; to love yourself like no one ever did! To be your own good enough parent! To look after that scary inner child inside you. To tell her: "It's OK, I'm here!"

Another important point in recovery is letting go of our need for justice! Our need to be told, "I'm sorry". How many of us are trapped in this? I know I was. By doing this we give so much power to the other person, persons, or situation - simply by having that hope. The hope that justice will be done; that they will admit their wrong-doing. Unfortunately, most likely we will never get it. So let go of that. And if we do end up getting it, see it as a bonus. Not something our lives is depending upon for moving on, for closure, for starting new things, to start living!  

I wish the government and society would place more value on simple things like this. The earlier society would help and support the children in stressing situations the more we would be preventing our own long term issues.

In the same way as the government, local councils, and some schools are addressing obesity or smoking - to prevent more ill people as adults in the future - so should they be creating more support for people from a young age. That is where it all starts and where whatever we learn, positive or negative, will be engraved. And shape who and what we will become.

The good news is it is never too late for you to work on yourself and learn more about this beautiful, unique and loveable human being that you are!

So don't fear and find the right help for you today!

If you wish to know more about me and what I do please see my website:
www.knowingyourself.co.uk

Sending Healing to your 2013!

Let me tell you a story - the story of how the most amazing event came to happen...

On Saturday 5th January 2013 at 20.13 I connected with over 300 people all over the world. Most felt the energy, lots felt relaxed, some became pain-free, some were helped to pass on, some found the motivation to do something, and some felt simply energised. Someone had a lifetime experience of the energy that sounded very close to a near-death experience. This person's spirit went and experienced what 'is' - what we are, where we come from... wow! Mind-blowing!

How wonderful is this? Together we connected and experienced the energy in the name of love and for the good of all.

How it happened was like this. It was the last day of the year... there I was, nothing much planned, nice family meal in, a film... go and walk to the park to see the fireworks around us...

That evening I got an interesting message from a friend in America: would I like to be visited by the Archangels? Gosh! What? Why not? I am open to anything! If nothing else I was now super curious... So I said yes.

The next day as usual I get up early no matter what. So as I am checking things on my Facebook page, I realise there is something called 'create an event'. Ummm, why not? Next, I felt that, yes, I should be creating an event! So I clicked it and thought: what for? Quickly the answers - almost like guidance - started flowing into my mind! Healing for 2013, what date? A 6... Why? I looked into the meaning of 6 and thought... Ok, this is interesting and powerful... So the date was set. And then all the rest just flowed.

"Six: The symbolism behind number Six is a legend. With Venus as its ruler, Six represents harmony, balance, sincerity, love, and truth. Six naturally reveals solutions for us in a calm, unfolding manner. We invoke the Six when we need delicate diplomacy when dealing with sensitive matters. The spiritual meaning of number Six also deals with enlightenment; specifically "lighting" our path in areas we require spiritual and mental balance. Sixes beckon us to administer compassion and consciously choose forgiveness in a situation."

I invited my friends, the ones I thought might be interested and within hours the number started growing and growing... I couldn't believe it. I had not thought of any numbers or anything - I had just followed instructions! (That is how it felt!)

I have done this before, following an instinct, and then wondering what exactly have I done. One of these times was with our beloved Tutty, our Persian white cat. One day a friend said to me that her sister-in-law needed to find a home for her cat because her daughter was becoming allergic to it. I didn't ask anything, I simply said "Yes!"  

Days after we arranged to go and pick her up... This beautiful white fluff... She was not friendly at all! And we had already two other cats... When she got home she was a scary thing! There was no way we could touch her or anything... And I remember looking at my partner and seeing in his eyes: 'what have you done?'

I wasn't sure but I knew she needed her space. By now I knew her story and it wasn't a nice one. She needed love and acceptance. And that is all I told my family to do.
I kept the cats apart for some time then let them find their ways and with her I simply let her be. Accepting her sleeping on the floor, meditating by the door (not joking!) and with time she became at ease. It's now three years next month that we have had her and she is the most loveable, adorable, friendly, trustworthy cat any human been would wish for. So I know about following instincts or better to listen to my higher self, to my guidance. And his time was no different: I knew I was doing the right thing, and as time went on realised this was going to be big and very, very special.

And it was! I can only say it was overwhelming and humbling to realise the number of people who added themselves on and who joined in this experience.

Over the few days between creating it and the Saturday, the energy started building up as soon as I started writing people's names down, something I felt I needed to do. People started feeling the connection and experiencing the energy available.

I know that of course, we were not necessarily the full 300. And that a lot of people joined but might not have made the intention to follow the ritual or connect with the energy. But It was amazing to realise that some people who did connect, and I didn't know, still felt it too.

So this was an exciting experience that I am glad I have created and been involved with and I am sure I will be creating more in the future!

I want to thank you all for becoming involved! May the Universe always provide you with all you need and lots of love, peace, health and wealth now and always! 

What about something for Valentine's? Bring love into your life!

xxx