...more on knowing yourself and mental heath...

Knowledge comes with responsibility and many of us fear that. To be responsible can mean to grow up and some of our life experiences might have taught us that growing up is scary; it might even be 'wrong'. Adults do bad things, for example.

This is why the understanding of where we come from is important. Looking and understanding that our life experience (perceptions) made us into who we are. Now, at this moment, is our chance to decide: do I want to stay as I am, and where I am? Or do I want something else? Something more? The choice is ours!

We don't need to stay the in 'poor me' or the victim position. You, me, we can always change it. Really, the only thing stopping you is you! And of course that mind of yours! The illusion that, if you failed before, you will always fail. Or that if you have been told that you are a failure by your parents, it must be true (so you are going to keep it true).

As a child, we need to make our carers 'good' because we depend on them! So to do that we internalise the 'bad'. "That must be me, I must be bad, I must deserve that, it must be my fault that it happened... "

But my dears, it is not our fault! It was not your fault! It was theirs! And their carers before them... These are passed-on traumas. It takes someone in pain to inflict pain in another. Think about it. And it takes a lack of awareness and help to carry on doing it.

You don't want to carry on like them or become like them, so you need to choose to change. To become more aware, to ask for help. To get help! To take care of yourself; to love yourself like no one ever did! To be your own good enough parent! To look after that scary inner child inside you. To tell her: "It's OK, I'm here!"

Another important point in recovery is letting go of our need for justice! Our need to be told, "I'm sorry". How many of us are trapped in this? I know I was. By doing this we give so much power to the other person, persons, or situation - simply by having that hope. The hope that justice will be done; that they will admit their wrong-doing. Unfortunately, most likely we will never get it. So let go of that. And if we do end up getting it, see it as a bonus. Not something our lives is depending upon for moving on, for closure, for starting new things, to start living!  

I wish the government and society would place more value on simple things like this. The earlier society would help and support the children in stressing situations the more we would be preventing our own long term issues.

In the same way as the government, local councils, and some schools are addressing obesity or smoking - to prevent more ill people as adults in the future - so should they be creating more support for people from a young age. That is where it all starts and where whatever we learn, positive or negative, will be engraved. And shape who and what we will become.

The good news is it is never too late for you to work on yourself and learn more about this beautiful, unique and loveable human being that you are!

So don't fear and find the right help for you today!

If you wish to know more about me and what I do please see my website:
www.knowingyourself.co.uk