That is kind of where I think I have been for months.
Decisions! Need to follow what I know I need to do. Change!
But before any of that was possible to be started I wanted to go on holiday!
Summer was here but instead, the rain became our daily bread and I founded my self being more and more unhappy and desperate...
Money was not materialising, stress was taking over... And I so needed to go away! See this sun that I was not able to see in this country. Oh, this was weeks and weeks of darkness, wetness and inner trouble... I knew as I always know that all would work out in the end... But the in-between was fear, anxiety, worry... Even my heart started playing silly palpitations on me.
But as with everything, 'all will pass' and it did. We end up going away to that so deserved two weeks holiday... 😀 Sun! Finally!
Ok, now we back and I am so happy that the Sun has come with us and is here 😁 I feel so blessed and energised... This is perfection for me. Not too hot, not too cold, blue skies and still not too short the days. It makes us feel like doing things and being so much happier.
I came back having decided that was now time for changing!
For months this has been playing in my mind, I even talked about this here: *Fragmentes of a Soul: Full Circle - more self-exploration...
First for some time my heart was closing about my part-time job. Telling me it was time to leave.
Sad as for so many years I felt and knew I meant to be there. It was important for them and for me. But now I started becoming tired and realising what somehow I have been avoiding - that I can do so much more!
For starters I need to stop just volunteering as a Counsellor and finally after all these years say to myself: I can and deserve to be paid! I can do this job! I really can!
Having come to a natural end with some of my clients, and especially closing a big piece of work with
a very long term client that has been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, made me realise how
much I have done.
I decided to do this closing report as a case study and I went on a journey myself with it. I believe it moved something in me. I felt that something was coming to a closer and something was about to
open up. New beginnings.
But being myself I felt I needed an extra push because really I know, but I am always scared and unsure, and I am very good at avoiding. So after we came back I decided to get help from Elizabeth Peru from http://www.deltawaves.com.au/ . I have come across her same time ago and all she talks and does resonate with me, so I decided to order her Life purpose CD. Where she would offer guidance and practical suggestions to help me fulfil it.
After doing this I realised a local shop was asking for help and thought that could be a good idea for a part-time job income, so it would give me space to carry on building my clients and do other things... like my healing!
So I went home and started redoing CV and doing a nice introduction letter, and then I got in touch with my manager and arranged a meeting for discussing my future in my placement.
And so I did, the following week I had my meeting where I told that I was ready to start being paid! Of course, this is not going to be overnight because due to government cuts we have so many fewer referrals but it is a start and that is all it matters :) I am finally on the road! I mean I been on the road all along, just I was browsing and now I am walking, focus on where I want to go.
I then took the CV to shop and hoped to hear from them... Who knows?... Possibly they prefer a 20 something girl but at least I act on it and tried it.
Then the MP3 arrived (instead of CD to save time on posting) and wow... It moved something in me... I felt I was hearing myself! Nothing new, but all that I know and needed to hear, plus very good tips and a few things that made so much sense...
The big Lesson: practice! I need to do with my healing gift what I had to do with my counselling, practice, practice, practice until my 'personality' believes I can do it and I can even be paid for it.
So now I am in the next step: needing to practice my healing... and I trust doors are opening... I am offering absent healing on my Facebook page and asking feedback!
Yes, that is very important because I need to hear what is happening, how people are feeling, how things are shifting and moving.
I can not promise an outcome and of course, I want everyone to use common sense about seeing Doctors and not taking any of what I do or say as the only truth. We all have our own truth and so we have to hear ourselves. Does that make sense to me? If not, then is not for you. But do keep an open mind and pay attention, just because you can't see it yet does not mean is not there!
And I also give my notices to my part-time job, difficult but I had to do it. I could not have kept it from them my feeling or thoughts. No rush, plenty of time... by the end of the year I will leave.
So I am now open for ideas so I can practice more my Healing gift, for free at the moment...
That is now my intention! On top of that, I need New Counselling clients that are able to pay, so it starts covering my place expenses and I can make some money too...
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