The poem... 23-2-13

23-2-13 this was the date I did a psychic practice Workshop where I did this poem and I was told about a new guide of mine, a philosopher and that my guides had different ideas for what I was supposed to be doing. That writing or teaching could be a possibility. Three days after I was planing the contents of my book and the name was so obvious: The seven lies of the Human race. 

The lying parent. 21-2-13

If I told you we are a bunch of liars living in a world where we teach laying to our children from day one? How would you feel? I know is not one to easily swallow but a true never the less. Ok, I better explain myself or I can see you leaving this Blog right now :) 

We lie to ourselves, we lie to each other, when we say we are ok and we are not, we are lying when we pretend whatever that it is so we fit in or to be liked or whatever- we lying! When we say sorry and we don't really mean it; when we say I love you and we don't really mean it; when we pretend we getting along with something but we not... We are lying. You see we live a life of constant lying. This is big and this is serious. We feel we can not be ourselves, we feel we are not good or worth enough, so we pretend and we lie. Lie about the salary, the car, the family, the job, the friends, the upbringing, the looks, the everything that might be possible to pretend and lie about. The list is endless.

We have learned this from our parents and we pass this one to our children. When for example things were not well between mum and dad, and we got worried. But we were possibly told: "No is ok, mum is ok." When obviously it wasn't. We all forget that the child can feel it is something wrong, but if it is told it is alright, she will think she is wrong. This child can then grow up not to trust their feelings because they were 'wrong' when in fact they were right. Instead, this child should have heard the truth, simply: "yes mum and dad is not ok, but we are trying to work it out as adults, this is not for you to worry and this is not about you. We both love you very much. Now go to bed, or go to play..."

Now we have another big issue with boundaries, children are told 'no' but they have learned that if they become very, very persistent they can eventually get it. So no wonder a teenager, young adult or a man when he hears the girl say no, thinks if I persist, really persist I know I will get it because no doesn't really means no, does it? Again what are we passing on? 

Boundaries and discipline are very important in the upbringing of children, of heathy secure children. Children without it get, agitated, unrested, demanding and unhappy. Children need to know where to stop, where are the limitations and they need an adult who is loving but firm. A parent should never think that is the child mate or best friend, for that, is not what the child needs, that might be what the parents needs, but that is something that the parent will have to address and get help with. A lot of parents and mums became mums/parents because of their own need of love, unconditional love, and they feel a baby, a child can give that to them. Now imagine the responsibility that this child comes in the world with. 

You might be thinking, who you to be saying all this, are you even a parent? In fact, I am and no I am not perfect, for that is not what the child needs either. Do I have a degree in children Psychology or in raising children? No, I don't! I have become a mum with no experience, but I follow my instinct, my common sense, I did it all from a place of Love and practicality but as well with determination and boundaries. For me a no, always meant a no. But sometimes there were maybes and if's and we can sometimes negotiate and compromise with some older children. Becoming a parent made me aware of myself, my limitations, my issues and helped me explore and learn lots.

Children need to be told as it is in a form that is appropriated for them, they might not need all the truth or all the story but they should not be lied to or pretended that something is what is not. I child should not be used as companions, friends, listeners, confidant, carers or assume parenting roles and they should not have at all to take sides in parents or families confrontations. 

Mostly, children need real people as parents, adults that are loving and have time for them. That gives them attention and quality time. That they set boundaries and expectation. Rules and that they are truthful at all times. An adult needs to stay an adult but be able to be in touch with their inner child to get on with playful times, to be empathic to the child needs. At the same time as the adult, he should be able to admit errors and have talks with their children. We came from a generation of parents who never admit being wrong or any wrongdoing, let now find a balance but not go to the extreme of apologising for being you and not giving any more of yourself. 

You and I can only do our best, with great achievements and some failure, that is normal and is being human. At the end of the day, none of this can guarantee children with no problems or traumas, for even the ones who have it all will always feel they miss on something. Because it Is not about the reality but about the perceptions and interpretation of the child, of the other and that is our children unique choice and individuals lessons. We can only be sincere and real to ourselves and others and became more and more aware of ourselves.     

Awareness, self-awareness for me is the biggest key in my own experience. I become a therapist for that reason and I can imagine my child, now in her teens complaining about having a mother as a therapist who is aware of what is behind so much... It all started when she was a toddler and I become aware I was losing my temper and becoming my own carer... The biggest fright when you look at the mirror and see your not nice mother! 

So I sought help, I knew this was not right and not about her, this took me deeper into my self-understanding and my journey into training as a therapist, something I was already interested. Today these skills help me immensely, my child is doing ok but not all is perfect. Never is, and we not aiming at perfection for that does not exist. She has anxieties and issues and I have to be aware of how to deal with it. How to give and support but still say no. 

I too know how easy is to say yes, and give in! I know I agree with so much more and give so much more because I did not have it. But we need to create limits and become aware that whatever way we act and interact with them that is all they have as an example to take for their future life. If we give and give easily they will think that the world and life are like that. They will have even more expectations and that is something we all struggling in this society because of that. Children need to be taught to value things and have respect. I am a believer in respect. Respect for people, animal, nature and things. Yes things, deserve respect too. No clothes on the floor, or uncared for. All things need and deserve to be cared for at all times. Only like this can we bring up kids that have respect for this planet, for each other, for the parents and the elderly.

In a society of consumerism and image we the parents have a hard job and the most important job in giving this future generation the skill of self-love, self-worth, self-acceptance, respect, empathy, and that can only come from example. Us practising exactly that, us getting help, physiologic help. I believe we parents should be more supported by this society. Have more help with the tools to be better at what we do. For starters, we need therapy available, courses on self-awareness, on self-esteem, on common
sense! 

Thanks for reading. 

21-2-13

Meditation for the Heart 13-2-13

After my first event on Facebook being a success "sending healing to 2013" I thought I wanted to do more of this. It came very obviously that doing something in February made sense and the thought of doing something to attract love even better. An idea was born! 

Now as always we have to find the details... And so it was that I thought of creating a mediation. I like them and I know I can be quite good, being running my monthly group for 3 years now, that is over 30 unique ones 😀 Yes at first I created every single one each month to do with chakras or the subject I was covering and then I started letting myself just be guided and let it flow... Everyone enjoys it and finds it very relaxing, plus I use that time to give the healing in my group so it made sense to do the same here.  

Then it came to me to do a YouTube video 😀 and so it was I end up with this lovely video. For a couple days I attempted to write the mediation, but it was not coming through. I know from experience that the best in this cases is to let it go and so I did and when I tried again it came though in one go... No mending, no changing. I simply love it, the way it works. When I looked and read it, I thought: wow that is the right words. That is the right thing to say... Next, I had to record it and find the music! The music took me forever to find... but finally did it and I am very happy with it. 

Now the next thing was new for me... Recording my voice and listening to it... First time I did that, recording a client session for college I got the shock of my life! Do I really sound like this?! I hate it! Now I am more loving and accepting of myself then I was then, so I can't say I love it but I am ok and I am more use to the idea that voice is really me. Apparently is very comom finding our own voice alien.  

I did it once but I could hear the bell of my cat and it disturbed me, so I did it again next morning with no cat bell and all by myself. I was happy with it now. 

I looked for photos the next day and my partner helped me create the video and get everything together. I have to say it was fun using 'garage band' on a Mac and 'I-video' but it took much longer then I could have imagined, but then again I had no idea... 

I think it was worth it and now I am planning to do more of this. I am planning to do a series on healing the chakras and then I want to try to do a few in subjects to do with counselling. Things like: mediation for depression, anxiety, panic, stress, self-esteem... Gosh, this could be so cool! I am having time at the moment as I am unfortunately almost jobless... And starting my private practice very slowly... So might as well spend the time doing something useful to all 😊 

To many more!

Please listen to it, do it and share it! Plus if spirit draws you to donate a £1 every penny counts and is a nice way of doing some exchange of energy and the service I am offering here. 

Love and light to you all. xxx

13-2-13

  

Where has a year go?

Where has a year go since my last post?

It has past, but I am trying to get back! 

I haven't stopped writing, or no very much the opposite I wrote a book and published it, and wrote some posts for here, but working on an iPad has its limitations and frustrations and the lack of access to a laptop or computer to make my posts look like I wish as kept me from publishing them. 

I know it is sad, but it is true and the reality is nothing has really changed but I am determined to make an effort to change! 

So this is me saying hello! 

This will be the first of some posts I will be posting with their original dates from last year, hope you enjoy it and come back! 

Love and light xxx

  

Have I been missed? Written on the 7th October 2013

Hi all! 

You all must be wondering where I have been since February, as I have vanished from my a blog! 

OK, the secret is out! I have been writing a book! All my time and inspiration has been taken up by it. I finished writing it in July with just the conclusion to do, and then August and September were spent reading it through, having it edited, etc.  

So I am officially an Author! My book was been launched on Lulu.com on the 25-09-13. 

I am excited and I have a big hope that this book will touch many people. 

At the moment I am living the anxious times of waiting for people to read it and buy it and get back to me with comments, feedback and stories of their enlightening moments. I am sure there will be many. When someone, as they are reading will says: "yes! That is me!" Or "Yes now I understand it" or "... I didn't realise that until now..."   

"So what is this book?" I hear you saying... This book is called "The Seven Lies of The Human Race". It is a book written in a simple, structured way all about lies! 

As a therapist, and with my own story to rely on, I came to realise a big truth that so many of us are aware of: we act on our beliefs. But what if these beliefs were based on lies? 

Also, I realised that, because we are all unique, we experience the same reality in different ways. So when exposed to a lie an individual has two choices: either believe in it and give in or react to it and act the opposite way. 

Also as a healer, I am aware of the energy centres: what they stand for, and how they influence not just our physical but our emotional and spiritual selves. 

With all this in mind, I set myself to relate these two passions of mine: energy as a healer and psychology as a therapist. To bring them together in a unique way which I believe no one else has done before. 

I have identified the lies that we learn through life. I talk about how we learn them and experience them as babies, and as we grow up. These Lies that get to be internalised so deeply we might not even be aware that they are there - or that we believe them! I have related them to each energy centre in our body.

The book also identifies what we do when we are exposed to these lies and in what way we react to them. I identify typical archetypes for each lie. 

Throughout the book, I use my story as an example, as well as bringing stories that are fiction but are based on people and facts I know.

I hope the book can be a tool of self-discovery and self-understanding. Above all I want it to be a tool for healing and to show we can set ourselves free from the lies that we been told by parents, carers and society. 

The book concludes with a view of what we need to find balance, love and peace. I wish you all a fulfilled journey.   xxx

The troubles of Britishness in all of us...

For many, many years the English culture and way of thinking and behaviour has attracted me and puzzled me immensely.
The use of language with kids, (good, bad boy!), the desperation for 'thank yous' and 'sorry', the shyness and over-politeness... The fear of speaking your mind, of asking for what you want just in case you upset someone or because is not polite.

This has been build into a generation of men and women too scared of being themselves. Too sensitive to understand what is going on inside and too polite to say anything is wrong! 

"Hello, how do you do?" "Very well, thank you" It was the first English phrase I learned. That says it all! No one is really interested in knowing how you really feel, and you know it! So you answer a pre-made answer, that is polite but not necessarily true.

Growing up, where kids existed as long as they were not heard, this generation (30ish to 60ish) learned to be invisible, to be behind someone else who speaks for them, who makes decisions for them. They learnt not to trust themselves most of the time because everything they ever did was never good enough...

We live in a society where taking responsibility is not cool. Where people say sorry and expect that all will be ok... Where you take money from others and say sorry and all is forgiven, without proper consequences or this person taking serious responsibility for what they have done.
People kill, use, abuse and say sorry... Some do not even do that... And we are just waiting to be told that is ok, that all will be ok... And we believe it! Because we need to! We need to believe someone else is fixing it for us! Just like a child does, we hope and expect a parent to do so. We are nothing more than kids, with a child's mind, who has not grown up and are living in an adult body. And you know why? Because most of us were never allowed to be real kids: held and respected; loved, cared and heard. So now we are projecting this inner expectation and we are playing up our frustrations with our society, with our system where we are now feeling entitled to receive and be protected, and beheld and be cared for.

I am not wanting to criticise or to show that any other culture is any better, but I am here wanting to wake something up! To shaken our thought and actions. I want this to make you question, to ask yourself if you are happy? If this is really what you are and are you happy with it? If so, good for you! If not, then let's ask questions, let's find answers, let's reach conclusions and solutions. That is what this world needs! We are all fed up of being told what to do, how to act and having to tick a box or fit in a group. We have been fighting for equal rights but we have now confused that with being the same. We are not the same! We are individuals! We have equal rights but we are individuals! And in the society we create we are now invisible and simply one of the many equals that need to fit in some group, may that be colour, race, religion, upbringing, culture, age...

We are told we are equal but we are feeling more and more apart and isolated than ever. If you don't fit in, you are not in! Not in the school, the group of friends, the new mums group, the yoga class... Not in the cafe or the pub you go to. People are losing their individuality, simply following trends, media feeds, and other ways of thinking or acting. We are not making individual choices. We are choosing what everyone is, so we fit in, so we don't look strange. We are not disagreeing so we don't upset: so we don't stand out. So we are not individuals. We are now a bunch of followers who don't even know any longer who or what we are. Who is losing our voice and our capacity of questioning, of wondering about things?

This is for me pure sadness! The disgrace of a generation, in fact, more than a generation. We are passing this on to our children. What is this society going to be in 10, 30 years time? I don't know. Do you?

We are not taking responsibility, for ourselves mainly - and for the 'all'. For we are part of a big group. Look at our planet! We are destroying it but no one is taking responsibility. I read this today by Terri Swearingen: "We are living in this planet as if we had another one to go to." So true! And what came to my mind is not that we are having another planet to go to but that we all know we going to die so we won't be here to pick up the mess! Let's pollute the air, the oceans, the mind of the weak! Let's lie and make ourselves richer and richer and who cares!? I want, I want, I want it now! And we get it! Isn't this what babies do? And our lovely new mothers are obeying, in a society of consumerism and lack of respect for others.

First, we were made to feel invisible and our views and points of views did not count in our family. But at least most of us had the freedom to be outside being children. Now, this new generation is told they are amazing! They are so important! They can achieve anything! They are unique and wonderful and all they need to do is shout, and mum, dad, school teacher, society and all will be at their feet! But this is mostly driven out of guilt from parents who are too busy working or too absent-minded to give good enough emotional attention to these kids so we buy them things, we agree with all things, to be in peace, not to have the crying, again we are not standing up, we are making ourselves invisible and weak. At home, work and in society.

And so we are creating a new society of narcissistic mentalities and personalities. How great! These are the desensitised youngsters who can kill, abuse and feel nothing... the ones who live hours and hours having relationships with computer games... These are the people who will use us as parents and send us to an old people's home and not care! How wonderful! So looking forward to it. But who cares! I might just die before all of this becomes even worse, so I will not be here to see my grandchildren live in hell!

The hell we are all creating by not addressing the basic needs of a child! By not educating and teaching kids about feelings, about exploring thought and feelings and individuality. By not learning about empathy and respect, and self-love, and self-esteem, and valuing their individuality, not because of their colour or background but because they are valued! And parents, why not get more education for yourselves too? The future depends on parenting: on being a good enough parent. So why not give more support to this group that has the biggest and most important job in society!

They need to have a safe place to talk, explore, make sense of their own issues, feelings, anxieties. They need to feel understood and be held and respected as unique too, with their background and childhood history and troubles. This is where therapy for all should be available and easy to access and the stigma that one needs to be not coping or mentally unwell to seek help taken away. They need to have someone who can give genuine time and empathy and hold the 'all' that they are.

The previous generations could blame their lack of knowledge and understanding, but now we all know it! It is simple and clear. Attachment issues, lack of self-belief, lack of good enough mother, etc. are real and important things we all need to address in this society, so we create a better one for generations to come.

We need to stop the idea that 'sorry' fixes all! I personally never liked sorry is far too easily used and given too much power, a power that is an illusion, for sorry does not fix anything! We should not have done it in the first place, pure and simple! But we do this with all things, including ourselves and our bodies. We use them and abuse them and then one day when they start failing we hope for a magic cure, pill and miracle to fix it! But sometimes it is too late! We should have cared for it ourselves! The same with our planet and our society and our families and our children: "Sorry we messed up this world, can we start again?"  No, we can't! And we all need to take responsibility for this!

Thank you!

Between Heaven and Earth there is a connection - Us!

Photo from Crystalink.com

People always wonder about protection... More and more we hear of the ones who wish to be more intuitive and sensitive, and the ones who born like this, and find it a curse and something so hard to live with.
Lately, I have come across both, and this made me wonder and start my self-exploration to understand what this is really about.
I was born a philosopher 😀 I always question and always look for the answer within me, by questioning the realities that I come across. I wish more people were like this, in fact, I believe philosophy should be a compulsory subject at school. Kids need to start asking, wondering, finding things by themselves instead of being simply accepting facts and scientifically proven stuff that can always be changed by the next scientist.

In a time where people are becoming more and more aware of energy and its power and essence so are people getting quite overwhelmed by the intensity of this discovery.
Yes it is nice to imagine a life of awareness and perception, feeling others feelings - how cool and useful that could be. But then again, what would be like to live a life where you become aware of everyone feelings, thoughts, moods, etc? Sure quite a scary and overwhelming one to be living. But this is happening now with the so-called Emphatics.
These people live in constant energetic openness where boundaries don't exist and energy emerges as an all with no perception of what is. Some spent a lifetime trying to make sense of what is happening, some they had to isolate themselves from the world to keep themselves 'safe' of this energetic intrusions. Some they even most likely hospitalised...
Some are now a bit more in control and having some understanding so they use these gifts for the benefit of others and themselves.
It has amazed me the number of people in this situation. Not sure this is new or simply that this realisation comes from the border access to these people on the internet and in our now so common way of communication, the social media. But they here within us, and some they finding it very hard to cope with this 'gifts' they never ask for.
On the other hand, there is people who wish to be more sensitive and are doing courses and all sorts of exercises to expand their perception of the world, not realising the implications this can have and lack in knowledge about how to deal with this.

So my questions became being about what makes these people so sensitive and what are they lacking that would help them become more in control of these gifts?

I know of protection and of course lots of the exercises we been told or can learn, can be of very good use. But I wondered what else? What is really that makes someone being able to have the awareness, the gifts, the consciousness of the energy but still being able to function as a 'normal' human being?

The answer came as 'centre yourself', yes that is the answer! We need to be cantered in the heart! The real self, the place of connection with the soul.
The answer is about bringing together the energies. You see Emphatics are people with their higher chakra centres very open, developed, exposed, whatever you wish to say. The energy is going upwards. When we talk about protections we talk about grounding, imagining being inside an eggshell protecting and grounding you. So we talking about taking the energy down. Now the answer is about bringing this two together in the heart. Bringing up the grounding, the energy of Mother Earth and bringing down the spiritual energies from the divine father. Together they will emerge in our centre, the heart, the soul, the son, the child, Christ - us!
The heart is where heaven and earth meet, where healing comes from.

This I believe is the answer for being in control of the energy and the gifts we have been given. Connecting with ourselves, with the here and now, with the truth in us, the reality of being a soul in a body. The gifts are simply us being aware of what we are capable of being, of what we truly are. Connecting with our true essence - divinity - eternal.